My heart is crushed right now! It’s not a new emotion. In fact, as a foster parent, it’s a common emotion. I can’t tell you how many people have asked me over the years how I can do it – let them go back. Like I somehow have the magic answer to it not hurting and not feeling. Want to know the secret. It is magical. It’s a mystery. But I don’t hold the key. It’s Jesus. It’s knowing that in everything that I do and hope He has great skill ability and care, so much more than I do. I never walk it alone.
So today I am crushed. The days are counting down when I will know the next steps: will they come back to me or stay with others for good? I had to say goodbye and when I close my eyes I see their teary eyes and blank stares. How could I leave them? They depend on me.
We all have moments when the world crashes on us. Moments when it’s hard to breath. It can come from hearing about the actions of our children, the loss of a dear friend, or some pronouncement we received. But as I sit hear tearfully praying, little by little Jesus tells me how much He loves ‘my’ little ones that I said goodbye to. I ask Him how to survive this. And He reminds me that this is what being poured out is. It’s pouring out myself for others. Its pouring out my stuff. Its pouring out my heart. It’s making sure nothing is left of me – and then, I can be filled with Jesus. That’s the magic formula.
Give it all. Give it all and let Jesus take care of everything.
I do have a question for all those who ask the question… “How can we give them back after you have so deeply loved them?”
What did Jesus do for you?
When you figure that out, you’ll know the answer to your question. 😊
I’ll take being crushed in this life, if I can have the chance to show and tell these hurting little ones how much Jesus loves them! Because, I might get to see them again, in the next life!
“But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy.”
Philippians 2:17 NLT
Crazy Faith Family 